Saturday the 1st, Day 71:

I don't get this MOVIE thing...

So Dad and Pa they came home with these things called "rentals" and they're REALLY shiny and spiffy to look at. (I wanted to chew one, but I couldn't figure out how to make the machine give it back after Dad put it in, and he was yelling things like, "Bertha! Don't you DARE touch that machine!" so I thought back to the last few things he yelled at me for chewing on, and I decided maybe it was a "mine" thing and not a "yours" thing... you know- when he says, "that's MINE!!!! AAAAUGH!" and takes it away? yep. Like that.)

Once they turned it on with one of those remote thingies, it was like TV... except SCARY.

No kidding! It seemed nice enough at first, all sweet and music-y and stuff... but then the TENSION built up... and pretty soon, Dad and Pa were WATCHING it... and you know, we dogs can TELL things. Like that they were nervous... and anxious... and SKEERED.

I get skeered too, you know- so I looked around for what might be skeering them.

I thought it might be the cat in heat, yowling all over the living room (that scares ME!) but when I chased her out, Dad said "STOP bothering the cat!" so I had to look elsewhere.

It wasn't the cat. ...so I checked out Dad's slurpee- but that tasted fine. (and Dad yelped "Hey! That's MINE!" *sigh*)

I checked under the futon, but there was nothing there except my turtle-toy and a lost kibble. I took care of that kibble right away, of couse.

Dad and Pa were on like... Pins and Needles!! So I looked harder.

Then someone SCREAMED!! "SNAKE! SNAKE!!"

I ran around, looking for the snake! ...but there was Dad again, saying, "beerrrrthaaaaaa..." so I looked to see what was annoying him.

OOOoooohhh... the MOVIE. I see. Someone had let a snake get into the pool, and people were screaming all over the place. Wow. I'd have just BIT the snake myself, and taken it out of the pool... but then, who am I to question human superiority?

So I sat and watched the movie some- and some more- and still more.

Y'know, it must have got REALLY scary, cause Dad's heart was going ka-thump, and it has skeeeery music, and Pa was saying things like, "no, you idiot... don't go--DUHHH...." and you know, I realized right away, what the problem was.

It was a SKEERY movie.

So I climbed up on the futon by Dad, and I laid down on him. He said something about not being able to see... and oh! I realized he wasn't so skeered anymore. Just annoyed!

Cool.

So I stood up!

I'm a clever girl, you know. You can't be SKEERED by something you can't SEE. Duh indeed.

Of course, this produced a lot of flailing around, and commenting about how Dad couldn't see (duh, Dad... that's the POINT!) He also showed me how the PAWS button worked. (Have you ever seen one of those? it's what you push when the dog is in the way- someone yells "Paws it! paws it!!!" and then it goes all quiet for a minute! yay!! see?) I danced, cause when the paws button gets pushed, no one is skeered anymore. :) yay!

I am so smart.

So how come I had to go to bed early after all?

Bah.

Big Bertha